realmseer
Birthday wishes
Posted on: 08/05/2007 10:35
(I am not looking for a pity party, just a way to release my dreams and feelings into the world)
In about a month I will be turning 30 (which I am not hung up on) and people have started to ask "what do you want for your birthday?; It's a big milestone".
I envision that the closer it does get to the day, the more in tears I will be when asked this question.
Sure I would love to get:
Digital camera
Pots and pans that can go into the dishwasher ( to conserve water and my energy)
Good china/stemware/flatware
Memory foam mattress ( or something for my aches)
To finally find out what is wrong with my body
To be pregnant
To have cloths that I actually like and don't feel like I am a preteen in
And the list goes on and on...
But I would trade all this in and so much more if I could just have one thing.
REAL WORLD CONNECTION/REAL WORLD LOVE
People not hurting others
People trying to understand each other
People putting their hurts aside long enough to see how beautiful we all really can be etc...
My husband is always telling me that I have such big expensive taste.
Big: Yes
Expensive: Apparently; but why?
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realmseer
Posted on: 09/13/2007 22:43
Oh, correction I got flowers from my husband (first time in ten years) and also more mind f*cks from the family.
The flowers where nice though :)
realmseer
Posted on: 09/13/2007 23:46
And then there was wondercake!!!!!
realmseer
Posted on: 09/13/2007 19:17
Surprize, surprize; Got nothing on my list. Not even a phone call. I guess somethings never change.
realmseer
Posted on: 08/05/2007 10:57
Correction: It brings me to tears anytime I think about my wish and I am in tears right now cause the more that I try to openly find a way to express my thoughts on this, all I do is make people mad and make them think that I am looking down my nose at them. The harder I try to show love for all, the more people see hate.
I don't want to cry anymore.
Maybe God should cut out my tounge cause the more I speak, the more forked people take it.
When is God going to gather up all of his sheep cause I am losing the will to try and help him cause it seems as though I am just helping the devil to divide them.
BigDave
Posted on: 08/05/2007 12:18
realmseer; I can understand your tears because, while creation is beautiful, this world can be such a depressing place. Your wish that there would be real world love is just the thing that would bring about the realm of the Spirit, where we would all live in peace and harmony. It's frustrating that human nature makes this appear impossible. We need more lovers.
I see you as a lover. Giving love and being rejected hurts but my hat is off to you for, as Bishop Spong says, "loving wastefully." He means giving love and not expecting a return, and that is so often the case. You seem to be surrounded by people who love you and are looking forward to celebrating your birthday. They love you for a reason so I suggest spending a bit of time looking inward and loving who is there. After all, Jesus taught us to love our neighbour as ourselves.
Rome wasn't built in a day and God's realm is the same way. We may never see the end product but the important thing is to journey there with love. Keep on loving.
My (early) birthday prayer for you: Creating Spirit, the need for love in the world is like an ocean gone dry. We try to fill it but can only pour out one bucket at a time. It's discouraging to pour bucket after bucket and see no result. Spirit of Love, bless your child realmseer and give her a full and joyful heart. Surround her with the love of those near and dear to her on her special day. Give her your gift of encouragement while pouring out her full buckets. Amen
Peace
Tigerlilly2 (not verified)
Posted on: 08/05/2007 16:08
You have a good heart realmseer - sorry it's hurting right now. I wish for all the best for you.
eileenlavigne
Posted on: 08/05/2007 19:23
Your birthday must be close to mine - it sounds like we may both want the same - take care and enjoy your special day
Blessings
alleycat
Posted on: 08/07/2007 08:50
Hoping you get a slice of what your'e looking for on your birthday.
A wise friend once told me "the only way to fail is to stop trying."
Keep going, through the tears and confusion. Keep trying.
In hope, and Christ's love,
alleycat
Christopherin
Posted on: 09/10/2007 16:16
the fact you feel a guilt for you, and your husband, is gift enough love.
Yo, a tender kiss from a stranger, or a hug from an uncle, love's love.
A heavy wagon you tow. I now understand more. Rather than less.