I re-read my Common Ground blog. I found myself led there. I said loud and clear there that, for me, wrong was wrong and the backdrop today that found me there, re-reading, is debating those who believe in pacts with the devil and God smiting Haiti because proper respect was not paid and that all humans are not worth snot...

I could not find the volume to scream, "NO" with as much passion as wells in me.

Maybe that is why we have no trouble killing each other, starving each other, raping each other, enslaving each other... whether it is militarily, enviromentally, politically.... maybe we just delude ourselves enough to think that it is holy or just or that we are worthy to do so because they are on God's shitlist. Or, what the heck, people are nothing, worthless really...

Sorry, can't do it. I cannot come close to saying those who do not know Jesus are doomed to hellfire and brimstone. I cannot say people are worth nothing.

I cannot come anyplace near saying that God played any part in people hearing a loved one tapping "help" until the air fell silent. That God would be cruel, uncaring and absolutely evil.  When theology gets so convoluted that God and Satan cannot be told apart, the theology has gone so far astray it has little to no Spirit left in it. 

I have that deep, basic - perhaps foolish- sense that allows me to risk my dignity in standing up, or preaching. I get the absolute ludicrousness of it and still find I am "a fool for Christ". There is nothing brave or smart about it. I know my words are just me talking about it and that I do not really know what I am talking about... Yet, I am still some sweaty palmed, stomach churning, feet of clay person willing to stand and say "NO" to what the Spirit tells me is not right.

I flail about most days trying to hear the voice of the Spirit. It is hard above one's own ego and all the perils and trials of the world and just ignorance of those things outside this earthly realm that is all I know. Maybe I cannot be bright or right but I have to find a way to be true to the God I believe in and spread that Word.

I cannot and will not believe Jesus would be standing amongst us today saying "That'll teach 'em" or even cleaning it up and trying to say that God needs respected or else. 

If I think about approaching Jesus and asking, "Was this God's plan?", every part of me that feels religious says that Jesus would wonder what kind of monsterous God had been created and likely say, "You folks still don't get it, do you?"

I will never preach a gospel that says those who do not believe in Jesus are evil-doers. I won't say God loves some more than others. I won't use the Bible as a weapon.

I am however called. Oh, not called to be witty or bright or learned or right... I am called not to sit in silence. I won't be the voice of the enemy, but I will neither be the silence of a friend.

If the church is to be relevant in our culture, and I am to be a part of it, it has to be a place where people can ask the hard questions, not just of faith and of the Bible, but of the collective us... our past, our mistakes, our beliefs that have harmed....  It also has to admit it does not always have the satisfactory answers.

For me, if the collective we is to say we are blessed with the intertwining of aboriginal culture with ours and genuinely mean it, then it has to extend outward to those of yet other cultures. If we are to say that we apologize for our ignorance of foreign ways, then we have to do better with the next group we are ignorant of.

For me, when I look at what would happen if God were right there in an earthquake, Haiti or anyplace, I can only think that like in Matthew 28 the words would be "Fear not" or "Do not be afraid" and would be nowhere near "Take that".