so this has to be quick cause i need to urn but i need to vent so i can enjoy my night.
ok background- a really good friend is coming in from toronto this evening. her and i talked earlier and she let me know that her cousin was picking her up and she was going to spend some time with him, and then we will do lunch tomorrow.
i was planning on telling my mom this wednesday. tomorrow. im sitting bed tonight, on wondercafe actually just reading all the lovely blogs that are posted, and my mom walks into my room and wants me to come and walk with her with the dogs. i decide, this has to be the night, it was meant to be.
so i went to the gay bar last night... hhmm what to say.
firstly a little abut myself. i'm not a typical gay guy. i don't really think when people first see me my body aura screams gay. my good friends notice the small subtleties that we laugh about, and how they separate me from just regular guys.
well the time has come! finally! i have my last two exams these upcoming days and im finally done! i don't even know how to describe it. happy, super excited, sad, a little scared... i think the scariest part is that the people i have been around for so long are all going in different directions; some doing amazing things, some not so amazing.
a while ago my friend and i were talking about our insecurities. i know mine-maybe too well. it is my sexuality. it s so interesting because i am surrounded by very supportive people, but yet sometimes i just don't feel good about me. i am not openly gay but my close friends know. i think that biggest fear of mine that i will be alone for a very long time because i cannot be myself all the time. there is that 10 minutes before bed that i feel alone, utterly.
