It is frustrating watching your friends go down in flames. They choose a life path and they make choices that affect whether the result is good or bad. I can only do so much as a friend. I can give a helping hand. I can give strong words of advice. But I cannot make the right choice for them. I know what it was like. I pulled away from my closest friends because I did not want them to see me drown.
Those who have spent time “in the rooms” may be excruciatingly familiar with the torment of addiction. For individuals who have finally stepped into circle, the party is long over. They know about jails, institutions, and death. They know about the mind games drugs can play, the struggles, the health problems, the insurmountable debt, and the toll in their personal relationships. They know persecution from work, family, and society. They know how hard it is to change a losing game- keep coming back, the circle members chirp. And we do.
Greetings, my name is Kim Beaulieu and this is my blog about my battles with addiction.
I have been an alcoholic my entire life I believe.
From my first drink I started blacking out, waking up not remembering going to bed at first, then larger gaps started to occur, such as an entire evening. I was 14.
So I've been thinking about smoking. I have never done it, personally, which I guess is rare. Many of my friends in high school smoked, but they were always respectful of those of us who didn't. I understood the smoking-as-rebellion thing then, and I understand the smoking-as-a-craving thing now.