Donnelly
Update, 3 years later
Posted on: 01/16/2012 03:25
Lord, I can't get a different profile pic, sorry. Now I look hairless.
I have attended First-Pilgrim UC in hamilton Ontario for 13 years. On January 8th I finally was Baptized. 
As my UC friend from Winnipeg, Craig said, woohoo! I would have joined sooner, but the last few years were awful. They are better now and that's why I can post again. I posted under Chase, some spnsored me in the 2010 200 mile Ride to Conquer Cancer in Ontario..thanks. I finished that. Last, but turned out I had tragically low red cells due to an undiagnosed stomach blood leak and they're amazed I finished. About a month after the ride, my bike was stolen. I'm lost without it, but one day, God willing, I'll replace my 2009 size small red Cannondale F5 mtb. They have to be cheaper now, right? LOL.
So I have a fantastic new apartment and friends I love dearly.
I don't advertize, but I'm a transgendered male. No, don't say like Chaz Bono. God love him, but he's new and it's irksome that now he's the posterboy for my life. I was born intersexed, they picked the wrong surgery, my family clearly didn't accept me anyway. Major issues I've worked out.
I come to the United Church in 2012 committed to serve and to e family in every sense of the word. I think I dragged my UC into the transgendered thing, but I never grandstanded or such. I don't rally or parade. I'm just a guy getting back to being a guiy. A transman who votes Conservative. You all love me anyway, right? 
Mty minister is the best and I'm the conservative abberation but I don't care if ppeople vote differently. We're brothers and sisters on this faith journey together.
My brother Jerry died on leukemia in late late 20089 and that's what led to the Ride to Conquer cancer. Frankly, fundraising was scarier. I'm on a pension, and trying to replace my bike? Nightmare. If I go on Youtube, I get flamed like mad.
Yet I am grateful for the many blessings in my life. I beat cancer twice, it didn't beat me. I did the ride I promised to do in memory of my brother on his deathbed. Though I lost 99.9% of my friends, over transgender issue, I realized, they never were my friends. A man has medical proof he's intersexed, actually male and fixing things, why the hate?
I'm venting only because I live alone and it sounds glum, but I'm catching up 3 years after my last post here.
I have good doctors for the 3 forms of arthritis, the pain is being managed. I miss the bike like breathing as it was truly a form of therapy, as I miss my stolen classical guitar. Also therapy, but I give thanks to God every day for church family and manufactured or chosen family. Hurt to let go of a lot of negative people, but after the yelling and threats (from them, not I), my health improved visibly. I met with Reverend Jane at my church and explained about my absence; that my health sometimes won't let me out of bed, and that I don't walk in the pouring rain or blizzards, but I'll be there wehen I can, and so far, every Sunday.
When Jerry died, I focused on the ride to conquer cancer. I believed in it, still do, and love the work at the Princess Margaret Hopital. After, the bike was stolen by a friend. Yes, a friend who moved far away. I realized that my brothers friends weren't going to chip in for the cause, that I was excluded because I was trans, actually intersexed, and they saw me as challenger for the money. Jerry died without a will. They took it all. and when I found his grave 4 months ago, no headstone, no marker. I planted flower and let it go.
You're thinking, this is upbeat?? Yes, brothers and sisters, it is. It's after 2 am and I had to re-register, lsot all my infomration while homelss. You lose everything that way.
But I have my church behind me, all my ID legally changed to male, thank God, and am in the best apartment I've had in my entire life. God is good. Count your blessings? Oh, I do. I truly do. We are NOT alone. We live in God's world.
If you comment, and I don't expect any, please be kind. 2009 to 20011 were brutal. I'm good, but kindness is my friend. Hey, it's the Christian thing, right?
I hope some will message or post.
I have several emails.
declandonnellywrites@yahoo.com Declan is my middle name.
I live alone, so contact is good. I know most are busy, but be patient, please, as I learn the etiquete here and how not to put my foot in my mouth. Yeah, I'm Conservative and like my KJV and NKJV, but you vote and believe your way. I'mn not here to judge.
Okay, except I was upset about the past UC Observer advocating allowing convicted pedophiles in church. I was systematically sexually abused by a stepfather for many years as a child and preteen. Yes, forgive, but let them have pastoral care, video sermons or take cds or such to them as shut ins Not banishment, but children first. Sometimes, and this is my own opinion, and remember, as a intersexed male undergoing surgeries at a snails pace to be fully male I realized how others may think, the UC and the Observer in particular, tries SO hard to be inclusive it doesn't feel like church anymore. I don't lose sleep over it. I find the articles that matter, if I can find them
Sorry if poisted in wrong area, too long and jumpbled. Tired, but wanted to say hi.
I saw the always open sign and decided to stop by.
In Him.
Liam
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Comments
somegalfromcan
Hi Liam - nice to meet ya!
Posted on: 01/16/2012 03:53
Hi Liam - nice to meet ya! Welcome back to this site. It sounds like you've had an interesting journey over the past few years. I look forward to hearing more about it. I'm glad you've found a supportive community to walk with you and I hope that the Wonder Cafe will prove to be a place where you feel comfortable once again.
Birthstone
If there is something
Posted on: 01/16/2012 09:08
If there is something wonderful about this cafe, we all start fresh here. It has been a wonderful place of support when people need that.
Congrats on this new stable point in your life with a good church, a good home, and some confidence. Maybe the police dept would have a good bike for you (they often have piles that are never claimed that can be had for much less than new). Put the word out for a guitar... who knows. If I had one kicking around it would be yours. May this year be a turning point for you. Glad you're here!
Tabitha
Hi Donnelly, I remember you
Posted on: 01/16/2012 16:44
Hi Donnelly,
I remember you from before. I also rode the ride to conquer cancer that year-but In Alberta.
Congratulations on your baptism. What a step forward on your faith journey.
I wonder if yu could pick up a beater of a bike for getting around town? I know one club in Edmonton sells second hand bikes for about $50. Certianly not as good as what you had-but decent enough for city riding and not a thief magnet.
Wishing you well in this stage of life.
(There are other transgendered folk in wondercafe)
RitaTG
Donnelly .... welcome to
Posted on: 01/16/2012 12:49
Donnelly .... welcome to WonderCafe!
I am a transgender woman and I have found wonderful acceptance here.
Actually .... its like I am not transgendered at all .... I am just another woman here.
And I am sure you will be just another man here.
I read your story and my heart goes out to you.... how we have to struggle just to be who we really are.
If I can ever be of any help to you please just let me know.....
Hugs .... and God Bless you!!!
Rita
chansen
Hey Chase/Donnelly. I recall
Posted on: 01/16/2012 15:52
Hey Chase/Donnelly. I recall sponsoring you back then. Glad you made it, in more ways than one.
Get yourself on anything with 2 wheels. No, you won't get a Cannondale for $50, but you can get some diamonds in the rough in the used market with an older gruppo that won't be too heavy and can be buffed to a shine if you know what to look for. I know the therapeutic value of a good bike ride, and it doens't depend on the money you spent.
lastpointe
Welcome back. I am glad that
Posted on: 01/17/2012 08:13
Welcome back. I am glad that you are still on your journey and are happy with where you are.
Contact the police and ask when they auction off/give away bikes. I think they used to do it twice a year around here.
and ask the minister to put a notice in the bulletin. That someone needs a used bike and a used guitar. People often have them gathering dust in cupboards and garages.
then may be you could give back by doing free guitar lessons at the church.
Beloved
Greetings Donnelly, thanks
Posted on: 01/17/2012 10:57
Greetings Donnelly, thanks for updating and sharing. Wishing an abundance of Hope, Peace, Joy, Love, as you continue on your life's journey
.
carolla
Nice to see you again (Chase)
Posted on: 01/18/2012 21:38
Nice to see you again (Chase) Donnelly - when I saw "update" and the bike icon, I wondered if it might be you! Good to hear you're getting settled, and lovely news about your baptism - what a very special way to start this new year, and new chapter in your life. Glad you dropped by!
Northwind
Hi Donelly, welcome back and
Posted on: 01/20/2012 12:05
Hi Donelly, welcome back and thanks for the update. One day I'd like to do the Ride to Conquer Cancer. I walked in the Weekend to End Women's Cancers in Vancouver last summer and it was amazing....and the blisters have healed.
Pull up a chair and join in the discussion. We always enjoy some variet around here.....well almost always.
jlin
Donelly, I lost 99 percent
Posted on: 01/20/2012 12:38
Donelly,
I lost 99 percent of my friends too, several years ago. It IS tough. I lost min when I had to opt out of the captalist race while negotiating a mental health . . . trip. So, anyway, the really great part on the other side is that once having lost all those people, and that they would just as soon hear a sad tale about how I had died due to . . . (insert story line X), I realize that I can do without a lot of people who get basically hypnotised by media and its story. ( I guess we all are like that)
Anyway, the good part (I'm getting to it) is getting to chose the wiser friends. It's sort of like captalism and one-upmaship except that I don't have to necessarily ladder climb upwards. I think of it as the green reality but many people relate to it as socialism.
ah well . . . and anywho (here, a time traveled interjection from my deceased step-father who grew up in the 30s and ushered in the 40s as a teenaged and starving teacher in the north of Saskatchewan) - Welcome.
Many of us here, are wired for weird and think it normal.
Donnelly
I remember you as wll,
Posted on: 01/23/2012 12:50
I remember you as wll, Tabitha. Algberta and I went, right. Tabitha, got it. Ah, that was brutal and I'll do it again, ut the raising the money is hardest thing I've ever done. Next time, I'm going on the radio for pete'ws sake, local cable, all of it.
I've been at this church 13 years.I'm givingit anothr shot. alf th plpe on't knwowho I am, which is fun. I'm going to stick it out, after writing the catholics, who refused to changed my name a second time. I have asked for weither a new baptism and confirmatio papers or a paper formally showing I am no long remotely tied to theml. peried."Respectufully, this halfway wo't wonk, Bishop, so let me know our decidio." I igure ill be booted, but I want to be asureed f that and not on their rolls for soe reason.
I feel selfish, but more I feel very..very much a loser, people.I'm 48, not stupid, and I'm unable to afford a quality bibke for my larger frame, nor can I afford to go through a succession of cheaper recyclied bikes and have them died out miles from anyone. I literally rideout miles from another living soul. People don't understankd,a nd I get that, mostly, that biking is my mental health barometer and my anger control. Family says you are less than, you pedal off 45 kilometres adn come home okay. soak in tuckand all is well. Cousin or others say they want none of ther tax money (my cousin is financed entirely by her daddy and child takes...so pot to kettle) financing my surgery. "You know," says I.."Got change for a penny soI can give you your 1/25th of this to cover your tax portion of my male chewst contouring?" She scowls."But I'll support after surgery, if yo uever get it, beern 8 yers right, and help you hela." Oh, yeah, no thanks. I don't feel that love.
I don't want unconditional love, that's what' Jesus is for. I want to not be such a loser I can't get a decent Specialized bike at the shop and helpment and gloves, ride the trals threeasa wkk, from 45 to 90 km a ride. It's mental health and fights off attacks of real,never even mind spiritual enemies. And it helps the RA and osteoarthritis. I se 23 year olds with bikes 2x or 3x what I'd want to spend, with fancy camerals..i used to write for publication. Now I'll be selling the netbook for things that ame up. And at besxt, in five yers, I can think of riding. when my bones have seized.
I am so disapointed in myself. jUST SAID ALOUD TO MY BROTHER BEFORE LOGGIN IN HERE, jERRY, i LET YOU DOWN. yEAH, YOUR FRIENDS, THE TRANSPHOBIC JERKS (oops on caps, glasses off) took the $51,000 you lef tofor me. No will wasn't like you...and no headstone for you. Took your house and stuff, nothignfor you. You said "I'm leaving enough for your to bike, right, photogrpah and play classical guitar. LIve your life, be happy. ASnd they lied to you and pushed me out,and I'mn do sorry they disobeyed your last wishes. It happese,andi don't drive or have pwer and coudlnt; fight it. I hoe you understansd, but I road the 200 miles. I'm just...I let the bike get stolen and I need a quality one, not most expenseive, quality, so i can ride hard, far, long with a big frame that always shrinks over time. I use a cheap one, I flatten tires, break frames. It's humiliating.
I let him down, I let me down, and I keep gettingKnew you'd *uck this up from so many.
I didn't make church,but I emailed the reverend to tell her I was down and needed to sleep, Id been up all night wondering if I sold everythign I could buy a bie=ke.If the netbook goes, I can't use the kobo, so I have to sell that. Then the digital camera, tiny thing goes, and my mp3 player...I'm goign back to sleep.
I'm the one tellig everyon else, okay, this is what you neeed o do. I uess I'm just too into forres to see the blasted trees eh?
Oh, just pray for liam, it's not just a pity party. I lost so man over trans,and I'm intersexed, proven to be male!! I did't lose right away, I've lost over 7 yeras. I have 2 friends left out of dozens I've a rich cousin who things she's honestly poor, she really does,and says she's there for me "sren't I a great support for youo? What would you do without me?" but is against the surgery. So in end of April, whe I pay her baack the las of mney I owe her , I' going to hurt at first without her, but then I will be okay. I'm getting good at this.
And I'll pay her by mailing money orders. That stunned her. No more coffees to hear her sob stories. I have cable, I have a Mom who calls me her son now and I'm praying i get chest surgry this year, the rest in a fe. I don't want to be special. I want to be as good as. That's all.
we'r all brothers and sisters. we're not alone,we llive in God's worldl. Period.
Love to you all. and keep pryaing for Liam, he's hanging on by teeth and nails. I want to ride and ride. and I want to keep promises to my brother. to ride this cancer ride often. Realizing I acan't get a bike muchless sponsors, is impossible...but maybe...just maybe...a local bike store in souther ontrio will have a freaking heart. Theytolerate me at church, except the minister. Jane Wyllie is the best. God love her, she really is, but I go, enjoy her sermon, hold onto the coffee cup or they clean up and you're out the door waling home real fast.
I miss pree church studies, coffee times,cell groups, eldersl.........I mi missing chruch being family for thoe of us twho never hd famly.
Shutting up. Shouldn't type whe tiredd.I'll not write until I have a joke or something i can share on here.