You forgot blowing noses.   I carry a roll in the glove box since it has many uses.

I've heard there are places in the world where an attendant sits outside the public toilets and sells TP by the square.  Maybe that's what's needed -- a dispenser that doles out just a few at a time instead of having the whole roll at our disposal.

If one considers the options, is there really an acceptable substitute?  Recycled should be mandatory, but it would need to be kitten soft.  Anyone who is a martyr to  hemorrhoids might agree.

Let's not forget pranksters who like to TP the school, other people's homes, etc.  Of course, I'm not speaking from experience.  I was a good boy .....

I am disturbed by the amount of tp that people use - even before I knew the actual figure. 

Some people I know use a half roll in one sitting -- just because it's there.  Some people I know might as well be using a throw pillow because they care so much about how soft it is on their bottoms.  Some people I know might as well be using a pair of winter mittens because they're so concerned about dirtying their hands.  Um, aren't you going to wash them right after anyway??

Gah!

One should consider that the stats are also skewed by ofher factors.

The global average user uses three feet.... but there's no such thing as a global average user of TP. Much of the third world simply does not use TP at all, relying on other methods of cleansing after defecation.

The average North American is also being pegged for a huge amount of wasteage i the hospitality industry. Hotels used to give you a fresh roll every day, regardless if there was still 80% or more still on the roll: many still do. Those that don't automatically change for the same guest still p[rovide fresh rolls for new guests. The amopunt of TP wasted is horrendous.

There's also a huge amount of waste of TP in Grocery stores. Whenever packaging changes, the old packages are tossed, and unlike food items, they never seem to make it into the bargain bin.

This thread has the answer to the question posed in the thread, "Why mainstream churches are dying".  They need more bathroom theology.

I did the math.  Supposing the average woman pees six times a day, and I think thats a conservative estimate, and she uses two feet of paper a time, again conservative, she will be using 12 feet.  Then a few feet for the other.  Add in a bit for blowing a nose, wiping a tear, or cleaning up a mess, blotting lipstick.  And a bit more during that time of month.  I think that the average woman in North America probably uses more than 18 feet.  Men - that's a different story.

 What I want to know is HOW yellow does it need to get??  

also, I don't want to pee on my roommates yellow.  It might splash back and hit me - ick!

What?!?!?! - why wouldn't they just donate it to a foodbank?

How many unemployed would we have in Canada and the USA if those who conduct polls on such societal characteristics  as per capita tp use  (or per buttica tp use) stopped polling and stopped hiring?

Brittany - since this was originally posted I've tried to watch the amount of toilet paper I use.  Have you?   While it seems like a lot when you first think about it, I tried to think.  Probably almost a yard every use - probably six to eight (or sometimes ten) times a day.  I'm wondering if it is permissible for a woman to use part of her husband's allotment.  He doesn't use near as much.

   I'm wondering if it is permissible for a woman to use part of her husband's allotment.  He doesn't use near as much.

* * *

hear hear!

"The normal does not exist. The average does not exist. We know only a very large but probably finite phalanx of discrete space-time events encountered and endured." In less technical language, the Board of the College of Patapsychology offers one million Irish punds [around $700,000 American] to any "normalist" who can exhibit "a normal sunset, an average Beethoven sonata, an ordinary Playmate of the Month, or any thing or event in space-time that qualifies as normal, average or ordinary. (…) Thus, unless you're an illiterate and malnourished Asian with exactly 1.04 vaginas and 0.96 testicles, living in substandard housing*, you do not qualify as normal but as abnormal, subnormal, supernormal, paranormal or some variety of nonnormal."

--Timothy Finnegan's First Axiom

*ie, your 'average human'

MikeFatherSon asks What is the Secret Here?

And I go:

One could always try a bidet or timing one's cleaning up business with a shower.

Or one could start using cloth.

Or men could shave those particular bits so that there is less...clingage.

Or one could start making their own paper--fun and educational.

Or...

(as an apertif, here is an article I found interesting...)

 LOLOLOL!!  I will let my hubby read this when he is in the mood for potty humor. Meanwhile, I know someone who needs a potty laugh.  Thanks!

Thank you for the laughter cataclysm.

WC has fulfilled its purpose yet again.