((((seeler)))).  You will manage with the love and support of friends and family and hopefully some of us on the cafe.  You will manage one day at a time and some days you won't manage at all - and know that that is ok too.  Keeping you in my thoughts...cms

((((((((((seeler))))))))

I second what cjms said.

I wish you strength as you go through this.

One day at a time or one hour at a time, or one minute at a time - that's how you get through something like this

Oh, that's such tough stuff. I'm teary for you. I'm so glad you expressed yourself, here — I hope that doing so helped a little, gave you the chance to say things you might feel selfish saying elsewhere.

(((((seeler)))))

I have no words . . . but extend caring for you and your family at this time.

Such sad news - my thoughts, hopes and heart are with you.

I pray that the doctors/nurses do the right things,

that seelergirl's body responds the right ways,

and that everyone involved can breathe deeply at times.

 Seeler, sorry to hear about the recent problems but things are looking a little better already.  Maybe you guys could plan out a fun day that doesn't require any reservations so the next time your daughter is feeling up to it and is free of appointments you can all do something fun.  I hope things continue to improve!

Seeler, you'll manage because that's what you do.  Just be sure to make good use of the support system and don't completely burn yourself out.  Your daughter is leaning heavily on you to help her family, but she probably needs to talk to you just as much or more.

If I've learned anything in the past few years, it's that stuff happens.  Some good, some bad, and while you can influence the odds to a certain degree, it's still just the luck of the draw.  I hope things start to look up soon.

 Well Seeler I am truly sorry to hear that your family is suffering in this way.  You and your husband are such a genuine couple and I remember your joyful attitude toward life from our time together at 5 Oaks.    Your husband's back probably went out because he is feeling the stress of you daughters illness.  You must remember to take care of yourselves even while all this is going on.  I am thinking of you and your family.  

Hello Seeler, I am very sorry to hear the latest developments. I will be thinking of you all over the next weeks. It is good to see you have so many people who care about you here.

aaah, seeler....i read your post with sadness ....a long hug friend.

just thinking...help yourself to some of that good that is being dropped off at your daughter's house....use it so you don't have to cook a meal, when you are doing all this other stuff. 

pace yoruself for this marathon.....piece be with you and hoping your husband's back is feeling better soon, too

Bearhugs ((B))

 I would second Pinga's thoughts, and make sure you take care of yourself. I was terribly worried about my Mom when I was ill.  Often many people I would talk to at the Cancer Clinic while  waiting to see a doctor or for radiotherapy,  were more worried about the stress their love ones were going through, than they were about there own illness. 

It has been my experence that often those who are ill are able to "take it one day at a time" or one hour at a time, while the loved ones are unable to do so. Being ill gave us an excuse to let go, and allow our grief  to  express itself.   Which is exactly what is needed in order to go on. Crying is healthy.

Seeler.  I can simply find no words.  Your strength during this difficult time is inspiring.

Please know that you and your family are in my prayers. 

Each day can bring those glimmers of hope and this sounds like a real flare of hope.

The way chemo works, in general, is to kill off fast growing cells.  Cancer cells are fast growing so it catches them.  Sadly the other really fast growing cells are bone marrow, which produce all the blood cells.

So while the chemo can start to work killing cancer cells, it also attacks the stomach lining (nausea) the hair follicles ( baldness) the bone marrow ( low WBC leading to infection) ( low RBC leading to anemia.)  And of course the list goes on depending on the drugs.

Sometimes that means that the original plan for chemo needs to be modified.  Perhaps a decreased dosage for more treatments, or an increase in the period of time between doses, or an additional med to help cope with symptoms.

Usually, in chemo, it is the total amount of the drug, given over time , that kills the cancer cells.  not the amount given on each treatment.  Therefore they can alter the dosage plan without affecting the outcome.

I recognise that i have given a huge generalization here but i hope it helps explain things a bit.

Another way , when people ask how they can help , is to suggest they go give blood.  Your daughter is using it and while it isn't a tangible help to her , often people like to think of helping others.

Your family is always in my prayers.  Cancer can be beaten and youth is an asset

Adding my 2 cents worth.  Chemo is very hard on the immune system since it can't discriminate between bad cells and good cells, so during chemo treatments it is very important to eat foods that boost the immune system.  Suggest to your daughter that she stay away from sugars, unless natural sugars in fruits, and eat lots of veggies, raw and cooked.  Vegetable broths are good if the stomach rejects other foods.  Brown rice is good and alternative grains such as millet and quinoa are high in protein while being very palatable.

Natural yogurts help restore the good bacteria destroyed by chemo or your daughter could try acidolphilus capsules.  Papaya and pineapple are also good for the digestive tract.

Vitamin C is a known anti-oxident and boosts immunity.  Aloe Vera Gel taken orally helps combat inflammation in the digestive tract and may help alleviate symptoms from crohns.

I'm probably telling you things you already know, but offer these suggestions out of concern for  your daughter's overall health.  I've been down a road that reguired learning about some of the above.

Just my two cents worth.

It's very important when the chemo leads to a low white blood cell count to be very concerned with the possibility of infection.

When my husband's white blood cell count was at it's lowest (nadir, I think it was called?) we wouldn't allow the grandkids to visit him in hospital for fear of an overwhelming infection. (Little kids catch lots of colds at pre-school etc.)

Also, I rapidly became the hand sanitizer police, insisting that all visitors used it.

Seeler,

Trying to put myself in your shoes, I think that I would find a good friend in a hairdresser, manicurist or masseuse. Someone who will relax you with "stimulation and relaxation therapy" at the same time as being able to hold your story in the context of their professionialism and good common sense.

When your daughter feels well enough, get a mani-pedi for her.  She is young and is up against it so little things will make the huge difference in her 'tude.

That is just me.  just saying. 

So very true lastpointe re use of language.  Way too much is assumed, and this creates unnecessary distress. 

Seeler, I am just reading this thread, and was so glad to reach the last post and read your good news!  I just want to say that I, for one, definitely don't think you were making more fuss than necessary...it was a scary and painful time and you didn't know how it was going to turn out.  I imagine it was a relief to express some of your worries and fears, and and it's always good to let our communities uplift us during our times of uncertainty and darkness.

One of my favourite lines from the song Lean on Me: "no one can fill those of your needs that you don't let show..."

Keeping you and your family in my prayers.

yeah, seeler.  thanks for sharing how you all are doing.

glad that things are better and that you have a good weekend.

Here is a big bear hug from consumingfire to the seelergang.

It's heartwarming that there is such generosity, giving, and caring in your church family for seelergirl and family.  I hope someone is also taking care and nurturing seeler.