You want to date but you say you're not ready for love. From where, then, is your desire to date coming from? Is it all about lust for you? If so, I'd advise against dating for the time being. You're just too vulnerable at this particular moment. It probably is best for now to concentrate on friendships. I'm a little confused, however, on how you'd be promoting promiscuity by being a friend. Unless you mean friends with "benefits". I'd suggest you stick to friendship without said benefits for now.

The question then becomes, how does one find victory over the temptations of lust. The short answer is that you need to cut off the source of temptation. If it's tv or movies, stop watching them. If it's being around certain people, avoid them.

I'd also suggest you read the Bible and meditate on what it has to say about lust. Also, pray to God during weak moments and ask him to give you more strength.

Do not think about how to gratify yourself. Think about other things instead. For example, here's a poem to help keep you entertained: "As I go into the wood I see the little rabbits eating porridge as they should. Those silly little rabbits." - Walt Kelly

p.s. God does love you. Really. He does. God loves everyone.

First and foremost GOD made you and HE loves you unconditionally. He loves you as his 21 year old, single, lesbian, co-dependent, recovering, beautiful child. As for dating I'd say slow and careful. If you have a nice date, give her a good night kiss. On the second or third date, give that kiss a French flavor. If you're still happy and dating each other after a few months, go to second base. You get the picture. I've never been one to accept that life has to be an unending series of cold showers and at the same time I've never been a "playa" or had that much respect for them either. I personally believe in and recommend the middle ground. You don't have to relegate yourself to nothing just because it feels wrong to do everything. Be aware of course that there is always a desire to do more. Forget male or female, or gay or straight, that much is just HUMAN so know yourself and take everything into account. It might help if you and your girlfriend talk about it in advance. If she agrees to respect your boundaries in advance it'll be a lot easier. Plus if she's a "zero to sixty" kind of girl maybe she's a bad fit anyway and you opt not to date.

I hope this advice has value for you. Even if it doesn't let me give you a warm welcome to Wondercafe, I really hope you like this community. We have a lot to offer. Also I really wish you every happiness in both your spiritual journey and on your human love life. May GOD bless you dear.

I'm happy for you. GOD bless.

First and foremost, you need to be true to yourself (this said to ensure that you ignore this post if after contemplation, it's just not you)...  But 'yourself' is not a static entity - people change.  And there is nothing at all wrong with lust - I'd advise reevaluating your 'ethical & moral values' as likely coming in large part from parents and religion and given your own description of 'insatiable lust' (that can't be a good thing, right?), satiate it!

Some people who have a stereotype of homosexual promiscuity - and some who claim heterosexual promiscuity is 'sinful' - are people who were or are promiscusous themselves (some actually have the audacity to state it).  And other nay-sayers get their sex from their significant other.  Don't let others dictate your life.  Plus in my experience, it seems largely the result of inhibitions based on religion and there's neither grounds nor benefits to withholding sex in 'real life'. You're a young woman, not the ward of a church.

I submit that - taking care with STDs - gratify yourself any way you so choose and shed the imposed guilt from doing the most natural thing in the world.  And enjoy it.  Revel in it.  Grow with it.  Experiment.  Love it.  It won't take over your life and it's both a heathly urge and a healthy response to satisfy.  "Rabbits", Jae?

Again, if this "most amazing emotional sobreity" is for you - really for you - goferit.  I'm providing alternative advice because that kind of phrase is just so far afield of my life experiences and my (albeit limited - I'm a user, not an expert) knowledge of human sexuality, that I wonder about influences from religion.

You're welcome and while my perception is likely obvious, I'll provide one more - a hypothetical 're-write' that encompasses your thoughts as written in your lasy post, but with my slant.

And thank you for that last post... it allows me an insight that I didn't have.  After discussing this with someone, I'll also possibly clarify that I don't mean sex for sex sake.  Just as you likely don't want to spend any time with people you don't like, you'd want sex with people you like (at whatever level that can be assessed at the time).   Good luck!  :-)

I'd say 'yes' and 'no'...  Just because you 'enter it' (pun?) as "just for fun" doesn't mean it won't develop into something much, much more.  I can't recall ever going into it with more than that, but I've had four longish-term relationships evolve out of casual sex... 4 years (long distance / not live-in / not monogamous), 2 years, 4 years and 30 years - even the shortest is considerably longer than some marriages I know.  And several multi-month relationships as well.