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revjohn's picture

revjohn

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Congratulations to my Daughter

Hi All,

 

Last evening I spent a couple of hours at Brantford's Sanderson Theatre where my eldest daughter formally graduated from high-school.

 

She picked up a handful of awards for efforts along the way.

 

Now, she is a student at Brock University (Political Sciences) and seems to be enjoying just about everything.

 

I have not had, in this forum, much need to comment on my daughter or her struggles simply because they are not out of the norm for young women.

 

I do want to say that both Kimberly and myself are very proud of her dedication as a student and we look forward to the contributions she will make to the world around her.

 

My daughter rocks!

 

Grace and peace to you all.

John

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seeler's picture

seeler

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And congratulations to the parents whose daughter has brought them joy and pride.

 

paradox3's picture

paradox3

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revjohn wrote:

 

My daughter rocks!

 

 

Beautiful!

sighsnootles's picture

sighsnootles

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awesome news!! 

 

my 'way out of the normal' daughter is in grade 12 this year... any words of advice?

 

sighsnootles's picture

sighsnootles

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awesome news!! 

 

my 'way out of the normal' daughter is in grade 12 this year... any words of advice?

 

revjohn's picture

revjohn

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Hi sighsnootles,

 

sighsnootles wrote:

any words of advice?

 

Keep doing what you have been doing.  Together you got your daughter this far, the challenges seem a bit more daunting simply because the end of this chapter is in sight and who knows what the next chapter brings.

 

While my daughter is an excellent student, purpose was a very strong motivating factor.  When we finally found an undergraduate program that excited her it was easy for us to find ways and course opportunities in her final year which should have given her some preparation for the kinds of stuff she was going to have to deal with at University.

 

So, that bit of advice is way too late for this academic year.  My apologies.

 

Support, support and more support are what every student needs in every year.  Concerns about the future can be debilitating so listen to those concerns and where possible take responsibility for getting more info or suggesting strategic plans for meeting specific goals.

 

Cheerleading your student isn't out of place either.

 

As I said initially.  You got your daughter this far.  Everything you have relied upon up to this point still works and now is not the time to toss it all away and try something new and unfamiliar.

 

Grace and peace to you.

John

 

 

 

Beloved's picture

Beloved

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Congratulations to your daughter and to you and your family!

kaythecurler's picture

kaythecurler

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Congratulations to Kimberly on her achievement.  Congratulations and thanks to all who helped her along the way.

revjohn's picture

revjohn

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Hi Kaythe curler,

 

kaythecurler wrote:

Congratulations to Kimberly on her achievement. 

 

Just to clarify.  Kimberly is my wife.  My daughter remains unnamed at WonderCafe.  Though there are several from this community who know her name and have met up with her on occasion.

 

Which is not to say my wife doesn't achieve things.  She hardly stops.

 

Which is a great dynamic.  Kimberly is the example setter for things like drive and motivation.  I am the example setter for things like sober reflection and unworried progress.  Our daughter has almost balanced all of that.

 

Grace and peace to you.

John

Mendalla's picture

Mendalla

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Congrats to your daughter and to the proud parents who raised her. With you as her father, I'm sure she was predestined (or is that predetermined) to succeed cheeky.

 

And I'm reading your advice to sigh with interest. I'm dealing with a teenaged boy rather than a girl but some of it might apply to my situation

 

Mendalla

.

 

 

revjohn's picture

revjohn

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As far as parenting goes.

 

Here is my history.

 

My dad left home when I was five.  He was an alcoholic (though non-violent) so it was probably better with him gone.  Responsibility was not his forte.  My mother's boyfirend was also an alcoholic (and potentially very violent) and the best times around the house were during his frequent incarcerations when he was quite out of the picture.

 

With male examples like that I lamented that I was inadequately prepared to be any kind of responsible parent.  I also worried about my ability to be any kind of husband since I didn't get positive examples for that either.

 

Still negative examples are very useful at showing you what shouldn't be done and I focussed on not repeating mistakes that I had seen made.

 

Then came parenthood and nine months of reading every parenting book I could put my hands on and trying to sift wheat from chaff.  The kids came at regularly spaced intervals of 18 months apart and each of them has been different from the other.  Which meant that I have to switch gears between kids and issues all the time.  And all that fearful that I was going to fail more spectacularly than my father failed me.

 

So I set goals.

 

My dad bailed on me when I was 5.  I wouldn't bail on my kids before they were five.  Spacing the kids out a bit made sure that I was pushing the expiry date on this goal further and further away..

 

Still, you can't keep having kids.

 

I lost complete contact with my dad when I was 16.  I would not lose contact with any of my kids before they were 16.  I passed that goal this past February when my youngest turned 16.

 

My goal now is to be present for my kids high-school graduations (2 down and 1 to go--about two years from now I will fulfill this goal).  And their university/college graduations.  And their weddings.

 

I hope to set goals for grandkids eventually but there is still some parenting tasks waiting my attention.

 

For me, being a good parent has been defined as being better than the parent that failed me.  I'm happy to say I've shattered his record and I keep padding the totals daily.

 

Other than that it has been a lot of trial and error.

 

Grace and peace to you.

John

Neo's picture

Neo

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Congrats John.

Neo's picture

Neo

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.. and to your daughter, of course.

Pilgrims Progress's picture

Pilgrims Progress

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Congratulations to your daughter, your wife and to you, John.

 

I always appreciate it when men can overcome the male stereotype - and be open about their feelings and experiences of life.

By doing so, you lead the way for others.

 

Life is primarily about our experiences -they play a large part in determining who we are.

To share them openly, is a way to make meaningful connection with our fellow human travellers........

InannaWhimsey's picture

InannaWhimsey

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another shining star released to burn away the forces of cynicism & gravitas

 

HUZZAH!

Kimmio's picture

Kimmio

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Congratulations to your daughter from me as well, John!! You have good reason to feel proud. She sounds like a great kid.

 

I am curious as to why the graduation ceremony  is held in October after many kids have gone onto post secondary or other pursuits. I've never heard of that before--usually they are held at the end of the school year. Or, were you at the school last night for someother reason-- where her graduation ceremony was held-- but not held last night (if  that makes sense)?

revjohn's picture

revjohn

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Hi Kimmio,

 

Kimmio wrote:

She sounds like a great kid.

 

There are some good genes in the mix (half of which should be mine).

 

Kimmio wrote:

I am curious as to why the graduation ceremony  is held in October after many kids have gone onto post secondary or other pursuits. I've never heard of that before--usually they are held at the end of the school year.

 

As far as I can recall graduation has always been in the fall.  I suspect that might be because some kids need the results of the final exam to determine whether or not they have completed all of the credits.  So, summer school might be necessary for a university/college start in September.

 

I graduated from the same high-school in 83 and I was at college by the time the graduation ceremony was held.  While I was not in any kind of academic limbo, I was offered exemptions for most of my finals (which I didn't take so I could pad my final scores just a smidge higher).  I don't believe we got our final marks until late in July.

 

Some of the alumni awards are calculated according to average grade so they wouldn't be able to be calculated until final grades had been awarded and since they are not administered by the faculty it takes time to work out who gets what and write all those checks.  (Our Alumni Association distributed awards totalling $25, 000 to 60 students--that is an average award of $417--not too shabby).

 

Graduation was Saturday, October 20th, 2013. 

 

Grace and peace to you.

John

carolla's picture

carolla

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Congrats to RJ daughter & her persistent parents!  Graduation is a big accomplishment.   And to have found a programme that she's so interested in at post-secondary ... bonus points!

 

Kimmio - it's quite typical here in southern Ontario for highschools to hold their graduation ceremonies in the fall - kids reconvene and touch base with friends & teachers.  Many around here are actually held on the Thursday of Thanksgiving weekend - when many kids try to get home anyway.   

carolla's picture

carolla

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sighsnootles - I had one of those kids too - hang in there!!  Often not easy, I know.  RevJohn passess along wisdom for the journey.   yes

revjohn's picture

revjohn

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Hi Pilgrim's Progress,

 

Pilgrims Progress wrote:

I always appreciate it when men can overcome the male stereotype - and be open about their feelings and experiences of life.

 

Yeah, well, I can be as stereotypical as the next guy.

 

For example, I translated Job from the more polite "gird thy loins" to a more contemporary, "get your jock-strap on" this morning during worship.  This lead to some sympathetic male shifting so, point communicated.

 

Pilgrims Progress wrote:

To share them openly, is a way to make meaningful connection with our fellow human travellers........

 

I try.

 

Grace and peace to you.

John

waterfall's picture

waterfall

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Such wonderful news, congratulations! (Perhaps she'll be Prime Minister someday)

somegalfromcan's picture

somegalfromcan

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Congrats to your daughter RevJohn! 

 

Fall graduations must be an Ontario thing. When I read your note, I thought, "Oh - she must have taken either a summer school course or an intensive six week one in September and October." Like Kimmio said, in BC graduation ceremonies happen at the end of the school year or, more rarely, at the end of a semester.

chemgal's picture

chemgal

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Congrats to RevJohn's daughter!  Remind her to keep a good balance over the next few years.  Good grades are important, but so are the things you experience when skipping the odd class!

 

As for the grad, I was wondering about summer school too, but that makes more sense.  Here the final exams made up 50% of the academic course grades (although my experience is probably a little dated).  They estimated who would graduate and who wouldn't, and we walked the stage based on that estimate. We were handed a momento with the names of the graduating class instead of our diplomas after walking the stage, and wrote final exams later.  We did  have an awards ceremony after we had actually graduated, but it was much smaller, probably about 20% of the people who walked the stage.

crazyheart's picture

crazyheart

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revjohn wrote:

Hi Kimmio,

 

Kimmio wrote:

She sounds like a great kid.

 

There are some good genes in the mix (half of which should be mine).

 

 

 

John, I am so glad that you didn't say the roofer.yes

naman's picture

naman

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RegJohn,  Congratulations all around.

Kimmio's picture

Kimmio

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revjohn wrote:

Hi Kimmio,

 

Kimmio wrote:

She sounds like a great kid.

 

There are some good genes in the mix (half of which should be mine).

 

Kimmio wrote:

I am curious as to why the graduation ceremony  is held in October after many kids have gone onto post secondary or other pursuits. I've never heard of that before--usually they are held at the end of the school year.

 

As far as I can recall graduation has always been in the fall.  I suspect that might be because some kids need the results of the final exam to determine whether or not they have completed all of the credits.  So, summer school might be necessary for a university/college start in September.

 

I graduated from the same high-school in 83 and I was at college by the time the graduation ceremony was held.  While I was not in any kind of academic limbo, I was offered exemptions for most of my finals (which I didn't take so I could pad my final scores just a smidge higher).  I don't believe we got our final marks until late in July.

 

Some of the alumni awards are calculated according to average grade so they wouldn't be able to be calculated until final grades had been awarded and since they are not administered by the faculty it takes time to work out who gets what and write all those checks.  (Our Alumni Association distributed awards totalling $25, 000 to 60 students--that is an average award of $417--not too shabby).

 

Graduation was Saturday, October 20th, 2013. 

 

Grace and peace to you.

John

 

2013? Trippy. Must have something to do with quantum physics.

Kimmio's picture

Kimmio

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We had graduation at the end of the school year. There were a few kids who may have still needed a few extra credits but I suppose they were allowed to have the ceremony anyway. Because, I think the reasoning was that if they needed to go back for one or two classes they shouldn't miss the opportunity to graduate with the kids they went to school with for years.  Not sure if that's the right approach, but graduation was always held in June. Maybe it's a BC thing. So, we were given token diplomas from the school, and waited for our real credits in the mail. I graduated properly and on time, although with not as high grades as I should have.

spirit wind 7's picture

spirit wind 7

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And may she rock the world!

Pilgrims Progress's picture

Pilgrims Progress

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revjohn wrote:

 For example, I translated Job from the more polite "gird thy loins" to a more contemporary, "get your jock-strap on" this morning during worship.  This lead to some sympathetic male shifting so, point communicated.

 

Oh dear, what a travesty of the use of language......frown

 

"Gird thy loins" is sooo much better!

"Get your jock-strap on" is enough to make a congregation walk out in protest.cool

stardust's picture

stardust

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Rev. John

Big applause and hearty congrats to your daughter yes.

 

She'll do you proud!

 

I hope she has a wonderful year at Brock.

Mendalla's picture

Mendalla

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somegalfromcan wrote:

Congrats to your daughter RevJohn! 

 

Fall graduations must be an Ontario thing.

 

Could be. I'm from Kitchener, Ontairo, a graduate of Eastwood Collegiate, and ours was in the Fall as well. As John said, by the time exams are over and marks are ready you're into July and it's probably easier to get people back in the Fall than in the Summer. Also, with school out for the summer, my high school wouldn't have had the senior band or orchestra around to play for the graduation as was the norm (I think I actually went to 3 or 4 commencements over my years in high school between my own and playing in musical groups at others).

 

Mendalla

 

Rowan's picture

Rowan

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Kimmio wrote:

I am curious as to why the graduation ceremony  is held in October after many kids have gone onto post secondary or other pursuits. I've never heard of that before--usually they are held at the end of the school year. Or, were you at the school last night for someother reason-- where her graduation ceremony was held-- but not held last night (if  that makes sense)?

 

A lot of grad ceremonies are actually held before the kids have formally graduated.  There is actually a specific term for the students in the different situations 'graduands' vs 'graduates'  I think. We had the diffference carefully explained when my class chose to hold our ceremony before we actually all got our diploma results and therefore before we knew if we'd all graduate, but that was a while ago.  I recall we were given rolls of blank parchment tied with facny ribbons rather than our actual HS diplomas during the ceremony for one thing.

Kimmio's picture

Kimmio

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Rowan wrote:

Kimmio wrote:

I am curious as to why the graduation ceremony  is held in October after many kids have gone onto post secondary or other pursuits. I've never heard of that before--usually they are held at the end of the school year. Or, were you at the school last night for someother reason-- where her graduation ceremony was held-- but not held last night (if  that makes sense)?

 

A lot of grad ceremonies are actually held before the kids have formally graduated.  There is actually a specific term for the students in the different situations 'graduands' vs 'graduates'  I think. We had the diffference carefully explained when my class chose to hold our ceremony before we actually all got our diploma results and therefore before we knew if we'd all graduate, but that was a while ago.  I recall we were given rolls of blank parchment tied with facny ribbons rather than our actual HS diplomas during the ceremony for one thing.

 

We got certificates from the highschool--in fancy faux leather type folders with the school emblem on the front. They had no "official" purpose. The only thing that did was the official transcripts that get mailed out later. Maybe some of those certificates were blank orthe folders were empty--or they were just certificates/ diplomas of recognition of the ceremony. I wasn't in any danger of not actually graduating (my grades were a different story, but I knew I was going to graduate). I guess BC is more slack...lol. Of course, if someone fails and has to repeat a class, they might come back the next year for it, or go to summer school or night school--but they spared the kids the embarassment of not going to the ceremony with their peers--most of whom they'd grown up with. At least that's how it was back when I graduated. I don't know if that's changed. Maybe it's up to the discretion of the school here? I'm not sure.

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