Good morning Cms & Busymom, I'm going to start here.  I know this is not what you were after, but I'm not the only one who will think it.  Busymom, your words and your friendship and your warm wisdom add a lot to this cafe, and even in sharing your sorrows with your dad's illness, you gave a voice to many others who are facing similar sorrow. AND even in good times, on fun threads or meaningful ones, you are a voice of reason and empathy.  I am grateful to know you on here & in person!!

now to find some more folks to tell...

Great Reminder, will do!

Thanks, Busymom.  I always feel uplifted by your posts.  You make it all seem possible, despite a busy life!!!

It is my hope, Jes, that in your life, there is someone that does something nice for you or who cares for you...cms

Good advice busymom.

Seems we don't tell people often enough that we appreciate their efforts.  The words need to be sincere and heart-felt, but it is amazing how a compliment can brighten someone's day.

Kind words can go a long way to dispell the gloom in someone's life.

"He who is filled with love, is filled with God himself."

Saint Augustine

I consider myself very fortunate because I had a Nana who often repeated to me, "If you think something nice about someone, tell them, most folks don't take the trouble".

As a little girl, walking around her neighbourhood with her, I noticed that folks would look up at her with a smile whenever we approached.

Maybe it's not that common, though, because I've noticed that some folks find it hard to accept a compliment - which is sad. Maybe it's Nana's training, but I find it much easier to show my appreciation than my displeasure.

I have a very personal experience of this.

When my husband was having yet another blood test, after just being diagnosed with leukaemia, I was waiting with his haematologist who'd just given us the diagnosis.

I was in tears, and she said, "I'm so sorry."

Out of nowhere it occurred to me that this awful situation was part of her working life - something she would face day after day.

I remember blurting out, "Do you do this every day? You poor thing, it must be dreadful for you."

Her eyes filled with tears, she crossed the room and we hugged.

We formed a close bond, and much later she told me how much it meant to her to have the difficulties of her profession acknowledged.

Show your appreciation whenever you can - it's good for both the giver and the recipient. 

Okay!! I sent out 5 messages, 2 to BFFs, 1 to boyfriend, 2 to people / friends I haven't seen in a while.

It's soo late because of daylight savings time, I don't know why I'm still uppp. But I sent messages! I hope facebook counts.

Jes! .... you have caught the spirit! ...good for you!

Of course! ...... relationships! ....... a casual kind word or even just a genuine warm smile can mean so much to a person sometimes.    We never know what is going on in another person's life ..... we can be feeling so alone even in a crowd....

I know lonely ....even when from the outside it seemed I had no reason to be lonely.

A person such as you just sharing a wisp of warmth was so welcome ...even if I knew I was unlikely to see them again....

That is how it feels from this side and I am so happy you focused on us little people.

Hugs

Rita

Busymom - when i get happy i use prophanities, so forgive me when i say "Fk yah!" to express my thoughts about your post.

It is so true. I had a similar experience when my dad died - the church was PACKED, and i mean people standing outside to hear what the priest had to say because there was no more room inside, and all these faces were familiar, though many a distant whisp of memory... everyone came and talked about him and suddenly we were surrounded by people going on and on about how great and giving and wonderful and humble Dad was. Like we didn't know that already. Like we were the ones who needed to hear it.

Basically, I can totally relate to your experience, and I think your idea of telling people something nice while they're alive is very wise. You are a wise and intelligent person :) Just because we don't know each other doesn't mean i can't see that. xo

"Why do we wait until someone dies to say nice things about them?"

You don't know what you have until you lose it.

People are so distracted with their daily routine that they don't notice how nice and caring one person was until he/she left or passed away. It is sad but true.

But then again, I think about heaven and that I will see this person there. Although I haven't lost anyone very close to me, yet it still helps me because I meet all those beautiful people from which I know I might never see again.

I like that Pilgrim. And Busymom, your story of "George" and "Joyce" was so touching.

There are many people I am sure I could be expressing my gratitude to and sharing my appreciation for ... but I am also someone who does this readily as well. I like email - it has made it easier for me to send my thoughts and thanks along to people especially for things that I wouldn't have taken the time to do by phone or a hand written note previously. I certainly have some regrets of people I wish I had told things to ...... but feel as though I do reach out as well.

My heart was warmed last week when mystchild made a point of going up to a guest choir director at a concert he was in and thanked her for directing them. I don't think any of the other 300 or so children went up to her after the concert to thank her. She was appreciative. I didn't know he was going to do that. I felt pride. He is also the child who after every soccer game and practice (or other sports or activities) goes up to the coaches and thanks them (and admittedly I do as well). It's not the same as the extra bits of telling people specifically what we appreciate about them, but acknowledging someone for which we are grateful is a start.

And again, I know there are people I could contact more, there are things I could say now to make sure they know how much I care and/or appreciate them, and I have regrets .... and this thread offers a good reminder.