Serena
When puppy love is over
Posted on: 08/25/2010 09:18
So at the beginnning of my relationship we were always texting and spending 7 nights per week together if we could.
Things seem to have cooled off. He is still calling but less. Maybe once per day instead of twice. We still see each other most nights we are off.
That whole dizzy feeling of love seems to be gone. We still care about each other but do not think about each other constantly.
I don't dream about him anymore or think about him constantly. It has been about four months.
Instead of sex happending 6-8 times per night and then 3 times in the morning it is down to 4 times at night and not always in the morning.
I don't write anymore songs about him.
I did talk to him about this and he said that the puppy love is over and is growing into something more adult and deeper.
Is this true in relationships does it "cool down"? The cooling down is still incredibly hot compared to other relationships. I miss the intoxicating fire though and wonder if it is possible to put back into the relationship?
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Serena
I am not saying the "love" is
Posted on: 08/25/2010 09:23
I am not saying the "love" is over. I think that is far from over. I don't think about other guys. He does not think about other girls. It is the whole "I want to be with you and only you..alone constantly" thing that is gone. I think we are starting to miss our family and friends and our alone time.
Which probably is not unusual at our age and most couples do not spend every second together right?
I do miss the overpowering, overwhelming feelings that we had up until about three weeks ago. Now we actually watch tv together and go for walks instead of making out all the time.
Olivet_Sarah
Hi Serena, I would accept
Posted on: 08/25/2010 09:33
Hi Serena, I would accept what your boyfriend says as a reasonable explanation - most pairs, if they heard of a couple seeing each other most days/evenings, talking on the phone once a day, having sex four times a night, would identify that as a healthy couple. I don't think it's normal for things to 'cool down' per se, but really what you're describing is still an incredibly healthy attraction. Because as fun as that 'can't keep our lips off each other' phase is, and for the record everyone misses that when it passes, there's going to come a time when you're talking greater commitments - living together, marriage, what have you, that it's got to be about more than *just* that (although should include a lot of that as well). I think what you had, and what it's developing into, sounds completely healthy and normal, and I say work on enjoying this wonderful, comfortable, mature phase of your relationship as much as the last. :)
trishcuit
Four times a night?? How do
Posted on: 08/25/2010 14:50
Four times a night?? How do you walk the next day?
Serena
trishcuit wrote: Four times
Posted on: 08/25/2010 17:32
Four times a night?? How do you walk the next day?
Yeah I posted that in a hurry and wished I could edit it. Walking is not a problem anymore it was when it was 6-8 times.
My legs have gotten stronger.
MorningCalm
Serena wrote:Instead of sex
Posted on: 08/25/2010 17:35
Hilary
post deleted by Hilary.
Posted on: 08/25/2010 18:32
post deleted by Hilary.
carolla
Serena - I would call what
Posted on: 08/25/2010 19:24
Serena - I would call what you describe as 'puppy love' - as " infatuation" - that spinning out of control, over the top craziness of constant blissful fireworks that happens early on in relationships.
Just think for a minute - could people actually live in such a state and get anything else done in life if 'love' lasted at the intensity of that 'infatuation' stage? Ummm ... nope. So yes, love changes, matures, evolves, call it what you will. All sounds pretty normal to me, but somehow saying it's 'cooling down' seems to have perhaps a negative connotation - I like your bf's words better.
You said "I miss the intoxicating fire" - I can believe that from your posts here - often you would be stirring things up to create some 'fire' on-line. It might be a challenge, or at least a new experience, for you to feel settled into a relationship that is steady & strong & healthy ... and I do think you can learn to enjoy it once you figure things out. Good luck!
Tyson
carolla wrote: ......You
Posted on: 08/25/2010 20:28
......You said "I miss the intoxicating fire" ..............
What are you talking about? I am right.........oh, wait.....
GordW
Serena wrote: trishcuit
Posted on: 08/25/2010 20:23
Four times a night?? How do you walk the next day?
Yeah I posted that in a hurry and wished I could edit it. Walking is not a problem anymore it was when it was 6-8 times.
My legs have gotten stronger.
WHen do you sleep?????????
The_Omnissiah
She sleep walks
Posted on: 08/26/2010 01:22
She sleep walks :P
As-salaamu alaikum, Ramadan mubarak
-Omni
trishcuit
On the Bambi movie they call
Posted on: 08/26/2010 01:30
On the Bambi movie they call it "Twitterpated".
Serena
GordW wrote: WHen do you
Posted on: 08/26/2010 01:54
WHen do you sleep?????????
I was able to survive on 3-4 hrs of sleep in June and July. I work shift work so I am used to short changing my sleep and then catching up a few days later. When I switch from days to nights or vice versa I tend to stay up 36 hrs at a time cuz I am not tired and then when I have stayed up that long I crash for a good 12 hrs.
Serena
carolla wrote: Just think for
Posted on: 08/26/2010 01:58
Just think for a minute - could people actually live in such a state and get anything else done in life if 'love' lasted at the intensity of that 'infatuation' stage? Ummm ... nope. So yes, love changes, matures, evolves, call it what you will. All sounds pretty normal to me, but somehow saying it's 'cooling down' seems to have perhaps a negative connotation - I like your bf's words better.
I never thought of that. We were both dead tired at work and didn't pay our bills for a couple of months because we were very forgetful. Texting each other 100 times a day or more.
Ya I picked a fight with him last Friday and I feel bad about that. That made the wrong kind of fire but he was more attentive for the weekend.
lastpointe
Serena, you are doing exactly
Posted on: 08/26/2010 09:48
Serena, you are doing exactly what is supposed to happen.
You guys were hot and heavy and blissful, kind of like being on a vacation.
Real life though is about bills and work and cuddling watching TV and Gasp..... Not having sex every night. Really, we don't have sex every night amazing as that seems.
Love is about more than the first blush of romance.
And it sounds like you are in it and just in the next stage.
Tha doesn't mean that you get old and dumpy and sweaty.
It means that you continue to have a great love life, expect that the frequency will alter over time but that does make the times extra special.
Birthstone
at some point you'll look
Posted on: 09/02/2010 09:41
at some point you'll look back on that and smile fondly and then, the best thing: you'll congratulate yourselves on being content & mature & in love in a grownup way ;) And you'll discover twinges of that twitterpated excitement when he walks in the door, or when you're deciding what to wear out that night, or as you change the sheets to nice clean fresh wonderful ones, etc. And that kind of twitterpation (?) is wonderful 10, 15, even 17 1/2 years down the line. I bet it explains the little old couples walking hand in hand too.
Congrats on getting to a wonderful next step.
((And if the occasional argument happens, its nice to know the next day, that you both weathered it well and the love remains! - make sure to work at learning to fight & fix fairly though))
pommum
Serena .... just relax and
Posted on: 09/03/2010 21:06
Serena .... just relax and enjoy this new phase!
dreamerman
Serena wrote: trishcuit
Posted on: 09/05/2010 08:19
Four times a night?? How do you walk the next day?
Yeah I posted that in a hurry and wished I could edit it. Walking is not a problem anymore it was when it was 6-8 times.
My legs have gotten stronger.
6-8 times a night some guys have all the luck. Serena you must really be a demon in the sack.
. I guess I will have to tell my wife twice a week just isn't enough.
Serena
Twice a week??? Only when he
Posted on: 09/05/2010 09:40
Twice a week??? Only when he is out of town and then we really make up for it when he gets back. Might be one of the reasons why I miss him so much right now. As far as having all the luck I dunno. How do I remind him of that?
dreamerman
[quote=Serena]Twice a week???
Posted on: 09/05/2010 19:25
[quote=Serena]Twice a week??? Only when he is out of town and then we really make up for it when he gets back. Might be one of the reasons why I miss him so much right now. As far as having all the luck I dunno. How do I remind him of that?[
/quote] Well if he is getting that much action and doesn't already know how lucky he is then I can't really add anything.
Some people will say why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free. I think that idea is a little outdated but some will object.
Serena
p> /quote] Well if he is
Posted on: 09/05/2010 22:46
p>
/quote] Well if he is getting that much action and doesn't already know how lucky he is then I can't really add anything.
Some people will say why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free. I think that idea is a little outdated but some will object.
[/quote]
The idea is dated as it assumes women are for sale.
Witch
The hormone drunk is
Posted on: 09/05/2010 23:03
The hormone drunk is over..... now it's time to start building the relationship.
Serena
I totally miss the hormone
Posted on: 09/06/2010 12:03
I totally miss the hormone drunk and thot we were falling out of love. I am still not sure that is not happening
crazyheart
If you are falling out of
Posted on: 09/06/2010 17:31
If you are falling out of love, serena, it wasn't love in the first place. It was lust.
Serena
Ya u could be right
Posted on: 09/06/2010 20:12
Ya u could be right Crazyheart
carolla
How will you know the
Posted on: 09/08/2010 09:50
How will you know the difference Serena?
Serena
I don't know how I will know
Posted on: 09/08/2010 14:18
I don't know how I will know the difference.
Witch
Lust is when it hurts to be
Posted on: 09/08/2010 15:12
Lust is when it hurts to be away from him.
Love is when you feel like helping him with the dishes.
Serena
Witch: It is both then. I
Posted on: 09/08/2010 21:06
Witch:
It is both then. I also cook for him and I don't really like to cook.
retiredrev
Serena wrote: Instead of sex
Posted on: 09/08/2010 21:12
Instead of sex happending 6-8 times per night and then 3 times in the morning it is down to 4 times at night and not always in the morning.
Are you bragging or complaining? Maybe he ran out of Viagra. Even with my French ancestry, I could only manage 5 times a night and maybe 2 times during the day. Of course, I was already 50 at the time
The_Omnissiah
When you're fucking like
Posted on: 09/09/2010 01:22
When you're fucking like that, maybe you should have titled the thread
when rabbit love is over"
As-salaamu alaikum, Ramadan mubarak
-Omni
Tabitha
The update to why buy the cow
Posted on: 09/09/2010 17:53
The update to why buy the cow is
Why buy the pig when you are getting the sausage for free!
MorningCalm
Tabitha wrote: The update to
Posted on: 09/09/2010 18:14
The update to why buy the cow is
Why buy the pig when you are getting the sausage for free!
In this case it would be why buy the pig when you are getting the sausage for free and for free and for free and for free and for free and for free and for free and for free and for free and for free!
Serena
retiredrev wrote:Serena
Posted on: 09/09/2010 18:56
Instead of sex happending 6-8 times per night and then 3 times in the morning it is down to 4 times at night and not always in the morning.
Are you bragging or complaining? Maybe he ran out of Viagra. Even with my French ancestry, I could only manage 5 times a night and maybe 2 times during the day. Of course, I was already 50 at the time
Those who r critical of other people's sex lives usually have none of their own.
Serena
The_Omnissiah wrote:When
Posted on: 09/09/2010 18:58
When you're fucking like that, maybe you should have titled the thread
when rabbit love is over"
As-salaamu alaikum, Ramadan mubarak
-Omni
Those who r critical of other people's sex lives usually have none of their own.
Serena
Tabitha wrote:The update to
Posted on: 09/09/2010 19:07
The update to why buy the cow is
Why buy the pig when you are getting the sausage for free!
I like this. It is very applicable today. I introduced a guy to a former friend and within two months they were soul mates and living together. She bot him a new truck. She bot him a horse and a horse trailer all in his name. He bot her an engagement ring on her credit card. He stopped working and laid at her house all day. This is why u don't buy the pig.
She finally listened to me and threw him out b4 the 6 month mark. This is why u don't fix people up and why u don't buy the pig.
dreamerman
Tabitha wrote: The update to
Posted on: 09/09/2010 19:17
The update to why buy the cow is
Why buy the pig when you are getting the sausage for free!
The_Omnissiah
Serena wrote:The_Omnissiah
Posted on: 09/11/2010 09:57
When you're fucking like that, maybe you should have titled the thread
when rabbit love is over"
As-salaamu alaikum, Ramadan mubarak
-Omni
Lol insecure or something? It was a joke haha. I'm not being critical. Critical would have been something along lines of calling you names, or saying this was a bad idea...blah blah blah.
As-salaamu alaikum, Eid Mubarak!
-Omni
Serena
Well he is in fort mac. Or to
Posted on: 09/13/2010 10:50
Well he is in fort mac. Or to be accurate 2 hrs away from fort mac. There is no cell reception. Yesterday he drove nearly an hour one way just to phone me. He is very bored so I am going to mail him some movies. Puppy love may be over but it seems we r starting to take care of each other.
Birthstone
an hour drive for a phone
Posted on: 09/15/2010 16:40
an hour drive for a phone conversation....mmmm I understand that. sweet :)
really and truly, the puppy love ain't the best part
pnayplayr
some call it the "honeymoon
Posted on: 10/07/2010 18:33
some call it the "honeymoon stage". your infatuation stage is wearing off, now onto the real deal. 4x a night is still a lot. i didn't live with my ex but some days i saw him everyday, some days once a wk...depending on his schedule. i remember when we just started dating, we were at it just about the same amount as you did, then by the 4th year, we'd be sleeping together for the entire week and we wouldn't have sex at all. it wasn't cuz i loved him less, i guess i just wanted my sleep lol.