Maeve - I sympathize with where you're at. It's unfortunate your UC experience has been so negative. From what I've seen, the UC best reflects your open mindedness about your spirituality.

May I ask why you feel the need to find a label that suits you? Forgive my ignorance, but could you not pursue a personal relationship with your God independent of any specific religion?

Dear Maeve;

First, let me say how it saddens me to hear of the burdens placed on you by the people in your father`s church.  If only we were all perfect. But then, isn`t that the point...  We`re not perfect, and we keep screwing up - every one of us. That`s what the church is for - to acknowledge where we have screwed up, to help point us in the right direction, and give us some hope that doing so isn`t a lost cause. Perhaps you might find a more perfect religion or philosophy (I haven`t), but I think you will still find that people are imperfect (even atheists, despite their protests!).  That`s probably why ministry is so difficult - many hurting people come to the church seeking to have their souls healed. Often what they need healed is the very nastiness of which you speak (which they may not even realize). Many have no idea how healing will happen, and believe that a minister will magically do this for them. But that healing must begin within each person, and a minister is only a guide, not a physician. Learning how to connect God to see you through this process can take a long time - perhaps a lifetime. 

But in addition to the walking wounded, you will also find in churches many folk with a wealth of wisdom and years of experience handling the difficulties of life. Seek them out. They have much to offer (but remember.. they`re not perfect either!). They have been called to churches to help in the healing, just as those who need healing have been called to seek healing.  Yes, churches can be hospitals for spiritual health, and there is so much to be done there. We could certainly use a hand.

But if you find a more perfect way, or more perfect people, please share that discovery with us. Sometimes we could all use a few pointers on how to do it right!

Maeve

There is a growing awareness that ministers are in a dangerous profession. My wife is a lay preacher that fills in at various churches. And, while she doesn't get dumped on regularly she has certainly run into some strongly opinionated people. Most will comment that every organization has those problems and I agree. But when it comes to a belief based organization such as churches, then the beliefs are stronger and more staunchly defended.

As to your personal search - I wouldn't go looking for an organized religion, a building. Instead I would start reading and thinking and talking to people. I would especially seek out people of all ages outside the church. Read books that are labelled New Age or perhaps Spiritual. Get to know some Wiccans. Start to write your thoughts down in a journal. You will often write down - "I just don't know which idea is right." Your ideas will change a lot, but after a while you will start noticing a direction.

My search has been going on for about 45 years now and it was well worth doing.

Good luck in your search.

Hi Maeve:

Almost every UCC congregation has its share of conservatives; in a small, rural church like ours they are the majority. In our congregation they are surprisingly open minded, though, but then we progressives leave them their traditional Sunday morning worship and they let us do our alternative events.

For the alternative crowd we have programs like wondercafe.live! and soon to come wonderspirit on Friday nights in our church hall. Thus, we have traditional worship in our sanctuary on Sundays, and progressive quasi-worship wonder events in the church hall on Fridays.

"My father's house has many mansions," said Jesus. Not all congregants need necessarily fit into the same mansion, not in Jesus' days, and not in ours.

I have to agree with some of the above answers.

Religion is dead, some have good morals, but there will be alot of good moral people in hell. Salvation is not in having good morals, but in "being known of him".

We are Known of him when we accept his word, and repent of our sin's and turn our whole life to him.{JESUS}. This is not an overnight process but a walk that will take some time for you to see. But I praise the LORD that there are people that are starting to see the light, and pulling out of the world church system, {the mega churches are the worst}and seeking a personal relationship with the living GOD. Halelujah.

And once you have grown in your relationship with the LORD, he will "certainly" lead you to the rest of his children and you will be led in perfect fellowship with them.

Luk 11:13

If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children: how much more shall your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to them that ask him?

Jesus loves all his children and he will take care of them if they will let him. We have to remember that he never interferes with our plan,

WE have to chose to do his will, and then he gives us the power to fulfill it.     NOT MY WILL BUT THINE BE DONE.    AND AGAIN, LO I COME NOT TO DO MINE OWN WILL BUT THE WILL OF HIM THAT SENT ME.

WALK IN HIM,,READ THE WORD,,,SPEND MORE TIME WITH HIM THAN WITH ANYTHING ELSE IN THIS WORLD...THAT YOU MAY BE COUNTED WORTHY TO BE HIDDEN IN THE DAY OF HIS WRATH AGAINST ALL UNGODLINESS AND WICKEDNESS THAT IS RAMPANT IN THS WORLD TODAY..

Zep 2:2

Before the decree bring forth, before the day pass as the chaff, before the fierce anger of the LORD come upon you, before the day of the LORD'S anger come upon you.

Zep 2:3

Seek ye the LORD, all ye meek of the earth, which have wrought his judgment; seek righteousness, seek meekness: it may be ye shall be hid in the day of the LORD'S anger. SEEK YE FIRST THE KINGDOM OF GOD AND ALL ELSE WILL BE ADDED UNTO YOU.                                        

The UCC and all other churches and religious bodies are made up of imperfect people.  We bicker, we argue, we sometimes act like small children. 

So do people in the securlar world - so do athiests.

Join any organization and you will find that out.  Things don't just happen - they are planned and organized, and the people who get involved sooner or later find that they have differences of opinion, different goals, different ways of doing things. 

Arguments are often petty.  In my former congregation there were hard feelings about where the banners should be hung.  In my bowling league there was disagreement about who would get a get-well card signed by all the bowler - only those who were in hospital or maybe those who were seriously ill at home for a long time.

I admit it is a shame when people who believe in a God of love don't show it more often.  But we try. 

My advice would be to try to find a church whose theology matches your own, get involved, and try not to let the pettiness and human frailties get to you.  None are perfect - we're just trying out best, or I hope that we are.

I'm thinking she really wasn't asking for a used car pitch. Any belief in God is a religion... it's what the word means, even if you do believe you have a "personal relationshiup" (I have a personal relationship with God too, I just don't have to change the meaning of words to sell it). I know you folks don't like to admit you have a religion, but the word means what the word means.

Hello maev........God bless you....

To become Spiritual we must search out Jesus Christ and fellowship with Him...learn His attributs and charater and wear them upon yourself ...there are many websites that will give you Jesus teachings...this is where I would start....stop looking for religion and look for Jesus ...He is the Master , the Spiritual Guide to follow...read the bible to learn about His birth, death, death on the cross , His buriel, His Ascension, yes He rose from this world and is available to teach us from the Spiritual realm the bible is only one door to reaching out to Him...as you walk with Him..change your life to be like Him...what was He , well He was Love, Peace, Wise, Graceful, Merciful, Generous, Forgiving, Knowledge, Happy, Joyous, Healed...He was all of these things when He walked the earth to show us that we to can live a abundant life, happy and healed when we go to Him to Learn the Way...

Search out Jesus and read about Him...pray for wisdom and knowledge....Jesus is not only in the churches...first He must be in our Hearts...before we can show Him to the outside world...start by praying and being like Him with your Family I do believe they are our first calling....this will help you to start seeing Jesus Christ in a different light .........He is the Way, the Truth , the Light...but you must give it the best effort you have ...for many start to seek and then say , oh this is too hard, being self controled and disipline in your search is the first step in find the Christ Consionousness....He is there...I know ...I fellowship with Him ...ask Him for Faith in your search....it is well worth it ...when you find Him ..amen and amen...

I pray Lord you open maeve heart to accept you as a Divine Master, Spiritual Guide, Teacher, give them wisdom and knowledg in their search Lord....take away all ego in their search for you so they may see the One and Only True God who wants nothing more in this world and the next then to Know and Love His Children and Bring them Into His Kingdom...Salvation is knowing God personally....and walking and talking and being like Him . a Divine Being .....A God Being ...

Wonderful blessings upon your seeking and searchings...

In Jesus name I pray ..amen and amen...

I cried and went on my knees asking god to give me the words to say to you. I must give you the truth as I have been directed. I know that there is a movement, a new religion that has emerged within the last few decades that is teaching that all religions are true. This is not new news. The bible spoke of this doctrine that would come to fool the masses. First know that I love you. that sounds crazy coming from a stranger. but not when that stranger knows and understands that the greatest commandment is love. I wept for you in such a way that I have never seen in myself concerning a person expressing themselves via internet. the only way that you can come to a  peace with this is you must know the truth and the truth will make you free. I know you've heard that somewhere before. But its true. First of all. All religions are not truth. How we were created did not come about from statues, rats, cats, cows, rocks all seated at a huge board table to discuss how to create mankind. We came from a truth, as definite as your fathers seed meeting with your mothers seed in order to bring you to existance in the flesh. Statues and animals cannot place stars in the sky are create a butter fly. nor could they or did they be a sacrifice of love. nor could a rat speak wisdom. or a cow cause the sun to rise and shine each day. God made you. you are not a mistake, you did not come from an ape. you were born with a purpose. apes still exist as apes not humans. so you know thats not it. In this case you must study the bible to first understand who you are. then you will know what you should be following. Read the book of ephesians chapter 1 and colosians chapter 1. you will also know who jesus is. He came to reconcile us back to god.  There cannot be a reconciliation without first a seperation. Which explains why the world is full of darkness and wickedness.because mankind is seperated from god by disobedience. They have been trying many ways to get to god without complying with his house rules. this planet is god's house and he has made rules. Now, we have no problem complying with our bosses rules or our spouse or whoever else. But because satans intent is to take over god's creation. literally steal this planet and everything in it causing mankind to eventually worship him as god. though he cannot create a day or a second, a star or an ant.  Yet he bogusly intends to be worshipped in a world that he did not toil to bring about. Now the reason why you are not happy with magic. Is because its a mimmicking spirit according the scripture. Once again satan doing little miracles to fool the people of the earth. but there is no love in it and it is void of god. Thats why many magician are always surrounded by dark symbols. They will begin to come out looking like angels very soon. the bible says that satan can appear as an angel of light. So god has been protecting you from witchcraft and magic. Open your eyes to holloween do a study on what it really is. there is a very intelligently constructed documentary on youtube. Its called 'Megiddo I' It has 1-14 parts of 6 to 10 minute clips. It may take 2 hours to watch all. like a movie. Mind blowing. invite some of your friends. it starts off the first 2 clips with animated characters then it gets so real. you will be blessed by this. Then you must watch 'megiddo II' parts 1-17- Then watch any clips on Bohemian grove. You will know where you should be after. Be sure to do your own poking around to confirm things as you see them.go to bible scripture. Then I would suggest you spend some time on your knees praying. You will find the answer. I love you very very very much Xs infinite LOL. god loves you even more that me because he is god. know this..be encouraged. Enjoy this life as much as you can keeping yourself from evil and sin it is what god wants for us. to prosper and be of good health...I will continue to pray for you....Peace  

As a fellow PK, I can sympathize completely. Preacher's kids grow up experiencing the church as an institution rather as a spiritual experience. We see our parents dealing with very challenging situations, as well as some quite petty & bitchy ones as well. I have met many fellow PKs who were also hurt by seeing their preacher parents face this difficult job. And since we were but children, we didn't have the emotional skills to know how to deal with it all. As a result, many PKs leave the church because they don't know how to deal with the pain. Others find a way to stay on their own terms, often transforming it in the process.

Some great PKs who wrote great theology- Alfred North Whitehead and John Cobb, who wrote Process Theology.

(Matthew Fox is not a PK but he does make the spirit come alive in a process/United way)

I have also found some great PKs who have used music to communicate their experience: Indigo Girls, Violent Femmes, Alice Cooper. Tori Amos.

I was raised United Church, but went over to the Unitarians while I figured out what I believe in. Make your own spiritual path. And once you find it for yourself, odds are you'll find a United Church where that path is embraced.

I'd encourage you to read John Main, and try his meditatitive prayer approach to help you with this journey.

Ministers wear a stole , which is a coloured scarf with their robes. The maker of the stole often puts their mark on the back of the neck of the stole. The minister is the only one who ever sees the maker's mark, as they put it on. My aunt made my father a stole. The maker's mark is embroidered with the message "nolite tes bastardes carborundum" (don't let the bastards grind you down).

While PKs often see the heartbreak of their parents' ministry, they also often don't get to see the spiritual satisfaction we ministers often get to experience as well.It was many years later before I was able to grasp the joy my father had experienced as a minister, which helped me to overcome the anger I felt about the suffering he had also experienced.

As those great Canadian theologians The Tragically Hip put it, "We live to survive our paradoxes." (sadly, none of them are PKs).

I did read somewhere in "The Gospel According to the Simpsons" that one of their writers is a PK. This perhaps explains why Rev.Lovejoy and his demon daughterJessica are so accurate.

Where two or three are gathered...