Baritone here. I swing both ways (tenor, bass).

Alto -- just like Patsy Cline.

I will join as long as I get to sing solow

I do not ride on buses...maestro

Where the hell's my vente steamed apple juice, no caramel, no whipped topping with sugar-free cinnamon dolce???!!!!  Greenthing!!!!!!!!...maestro

...and don't try and mix in those generic pills again!!!  I want the nice red, blue and green ones.  My pharmasist is on call and is paid a healthy retainer!...maestro

*little scared of maestro*

oh ok, then I'll stand in the front....i'm short

I'm also an amazing baritone.

Gord pulls out the wonderblender to mix a special drink for the maestro

DRAT!!! where did I put those horse tranquilizers??????

wartermellom, watermellon, watermellon does it, Beloved.

Warning.

If I'm 99% disinfected with alcohol I may not be able to reach the high notes. (In fact, I may have to sing lying down.)

that is why I love being an alto, myst.  do you mind pre-ordering me a basket of fries in case I'm late?

As s  270 lbs Steelworker, I think I can keep the Maestro in line. My powers of persuasion are remarkable.

Okay, so myst told me to sing out loud and strong . . . LA LA LA LA

I'm not sure what I am - I sing more on the "high" side of the scale - does that mean I'm an alto - does that mean I have to head over to the pub?

Sorry to say Beloved, if you sing on the high end of the scale, that would make you a soprano.

Do we let sopranos come to the pub?

I'll be a soprano with you Bethany! I am really out of voice as I haven't sung anything in a long while...*cough*....but I'll *ah-CHOO* do my best. Pass the tissues.

AFM?   Amazing Feminist Musicians?   Artful Friendly mic-hoggers?

Altos are the smartest and funnest around. You ought to be honoured to be so surrounded.

DIAZEPAM 5 MG/5 ML SOLUTION

VALIUM 10 MG TABLET

Maestro. take as many as you need.

All the altos should read this note I got long ago in my email.

It’s tough to be an alto when you’re singing in the choir

The sopranos get the twiddly bits that people all admire.

The basses boom like loud trombones, the tenors shout with glee,

But the alto part is on two notes (or if you’re lucky, three).

And when we sing an anthem and we lift our hearts in praises

The men get all the juicy bits and telling little phrases.

Of course, the trebles sing the tune – they always come off best;

The altos only get three notes and twenty two bars of rest.

We practise very hard each week from hymn book and the Psalter,

But when the Conductor looks at us our voices start to falter.

“Too high!” “Too low!” “Too fast!” “You held that note too long!”

It doesn’t matter what we do – it’s certain to be wrong!

Oh! Shed a tear for altos, they’re the martyrs and they know

In the ranks of choral singers they’re considered very low.

They are so very ‘umble that a lot of folks forget ‘em;

How they’d love to be sopranos, but their vocal chords won’t let ‘em!

And when the final trumpet sounds and we are wafted higher,

Sopranos, basses tenors – they’ll be in the Heavenly Choir.

While they sing “Alleluia” to celestial flats and sharps,

The altos will be occupied with polishing the harps.

I will have to copy that Kay and share it with my fellow altos.

When I lived in Cambridge, I took part in a workshop with the Toronto Mass Choir. The director said the choir is like a sandwich: the basses and sopranos were the slices of bread, the alto the meat, and the tenors the mustard. I like that anaolgy. And, we know that meat is very important in a sandwich!

To the tune of 'Grab Another Hand'

Grab another drink, grab a drink next to you

Grab another drink and sing this song

Grab another drink, grab a drink next to you

and sing, and sing this song la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la ........

So when we altos are "warmed up" (Corona and lime, please), maybe Eleanorgold's Post Apocalyptic Acoustical Band (See What would you play if..... in Pop Culture) could provide accompaniment.

What do you think?