A year ago yesterday my mom died. This was a tough week. I am still very sad today. I spent the evening alone painting. At 10:00pm I decided to clean out my Dads tailor shop. I went to bed about 1 am. I am tired today.

Okay so I have shared with u guys some pretty big changes in my life over the last few years.

1. In 2007 I was going to adopt a child. I backed out cuz the child had too many special needs and got foster kids

2. 2008 my dad died

3. 2009 my mom became ill. Much of my time was spent at the hospital and she died

4. I lost interest in music

5. I became an atheist

6. I gave up my music lesson business in 2007 cuz of the adoption. I had 80 students

7. I did a major career change from teaching to being a rehab worker.

8. February/March/April.

So its May longweekend.   Guess what I did?  I cut my lawn and took my Christmas decorations down.  I have not had company since January my aunt sent some missionaries from the Morman Church to visit me on Saturday  (yeah the kids did not say anything about the Christmas decorations....really they are too hyper)   They commented on the Christmas decorations.

My mother's condition deteriorated severly over the weekend and I called the palliative nurse to arrange for her to go into hospital.  They found a bed and my brother went over there to admit her.  At that time they told him that she has hours to days to live.  I spent the afternoon and evening at the hospital and plan to go back in the morning.

I am going to share something highly personal here because I need to.

I live totally alone.  At the beginning of my mother's illness people were calling and stopping by.  But that is not my point.

I have some repair issues on my car.  I have gotten some friends to drop the car off at the mechanic's (in another city) and now I am coordinating a ride to that city to pick up my car.  Since everyone is working and it is a weekday it is tough.  

Here is the problem:

They say that after a death a person reevaluates things and how their life is going.  A popular saying is that you will not have written on your tombstone "He/she spent a lot of time at work"